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Toby Turner - The Fob Song-0

Toby Turner - The Fob Song-0

  This is "The Fob Song", a track that Toby "Tobuscus" Turner did back in 2006, which was available at his old website, (it now redirects to his new site). The website was called Swingin' D' Productions, or Swingin' Dick Productions. This song is also on Toby's iTunes, although I believe it's a different version (it's faster, and thus shorter). His old website did have more songs, but they are in no way available.


You walk through the parking lot
Looking for your ride
You ponder for a second
How you gonna get inside?

You look at your keychain
You notice several keys
You reach for your handkerchief
Because you have to sneeze

You throw down your hanky
In the middle of the lot
You don't need that shit
Now it's filled with snot

Who cares? It's a handkerchief
Those things are gross
Use a Kleenex next time
One that's not abrasive on your nose

You keep walking to
Your well-parked ride
You take off your jacket
'Cause it's hot outside

You lift up your keychain
Because you're getting close
You search for the thing
That you need the most

It's a little black oval-shaped
Button-studded clicker
As you push the button
It unlocks and lights flicker

(What's it called?)
It's called a fob
(I'm sorry, I didn't get you, what is it?)
It's a motherfucking fob.

(Okay, no I still didn't...)
It's called a fob
(Could you enunciate please?)
It's a motherfucking fob

(Sorry 'bout the confusion)
(But I still don't understand)
I just told you four times
Just talk to the hand

(The marimba's too loud)
(It's just confusing my ears)
You're right, I'm sorry for snapping
I should rap more clear

Let me spell it out
It's my F O B
It's a term that describes
A remote control car key

Mine works fine
Up to eighty fucking feet
(That's about half way)
(Down the motherfucking street)

I know
(What's it called?)
It's called a fob
(Wait, what else does it do?)
A bunch of shit

(Like what?)
It's a motherfucking fob
(No no, I said what does it do?)
Where do I begin?

Car start, windows down
So it don't get foggy
My car alarm
Will make your pants get soggy

Warning motherfucker
You better get lost
If you don't I'll fill you
With cacogenic exhaust

It even got a button
For taking down the top
That shit lowers faster than
Well, your mum

(That kind of offended me)
(Could you please say sorry?)
I'm sorry
(I accept, now continue the story)

One button shoots flames
Like an afterburner
Sands* my name on the asphalt
Toby Joe Turner

(That's pretty cool man)
It's called a fob
(Yeah man, that's... I know)
It's a motherfucking fob

(Does it do anything else?)
My my my my
So much other stuff
That made your escalade cry

My fob felt bad
So it told your escalade, sorry
It's got a button
For going on a safari

That lifts up an armour-piecing
Machine gun turret
It shoots so loud
That the aliens heard it

Their leader flew down
In his UFO
With a click of the fob I slapped him
Just like one of ET's eight-fingered hoes

Which resulted in an
Intergalactic war
My fob laughed hard
Just like it wanted some more

But then I dropped my fob
Down into my Cola
My fob died quick
Like it caught Ebola

It's broke
I broke my fob
One button used to pull corn
Off of the cob

Another button had
Several ties with the mob
Another got me hired
And fired from my job

It was my fob
I broke my fob
I can't believe
I broke my motherfucking fob

iTunes download link+videoEdit